Some say that a toilet is a fundamental right
But McDonald\u2019s lobby closes at 10 o clock at night
No Public Restrooms in the grocery store
I hear someone pissing all over the floor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stared at him in horror
And my eyes got real big,
\u201cWhy not head over to Folsom
To find a watersports pig?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A gentleman joins him and I avert my eyes:
\u201cYou must be new here,\u201d he impatiently sighs
He squats down on Market and shits on the street
And some of it splashes all over my feet<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I head to the Tenderloin ,
Near Felt and Van Ness
I\u2019m trying to find an alley
To leave a big wet brown mess<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some junkie is watching, I expect him to cringe
He says I just left a hypodermic syringe
In my steaming hot offering
Under the Alvord Lake Bridge<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I demand to see the mayor of this urine soaked town
(No problem sir, she will be right down)
Ms Mayor, I beseech you, this has gone way too far
She says \u201cTry Uber Toilet, you just shit in the car!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They\u2019ll send one to you,
wherever you are:
You can leave them a tip,
and they\u2019ll tweeze your brown star!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No thank you, I prefer to squat on a bowl
And wipe my bottom clean with a soft Charmin roll
Your sanitation problem is out of control,
I will see myself out of this filthy shithole<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some say that a toilet is a fundamental rightBut McDonald\u2019s lobby closes at 10 o clock at nightNo Public Restrooms in the grocery storeI hear someone pissing all over the floor I stared at him in horrorAnd my eyes got real big,\u201cWhy not head over to FolsomTo find a watersports pig?\u201d A gentleman joins him […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7449"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7449"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12057,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7449\/revisions\/12057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}