One of the posts that just somehow \u201cvanished\u201d from Blogger, was a few years ago and it involved me living out in some corn field in the middle of nowhere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThey\u201d had some kind of \u201cradar\u201d dish, but not exactly<\/em>, and they were scanning through the corn searching for someone or something and were all terrified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After awhile it became apparent that \u201cthey\u201d were looking for someone or something else .. not us<\/em> \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dreams stacked on dreams stacked on dreams, I found another blogger who writes about SOME of the same things I do , and something jogged in my memory about something with spatial \/ hemispheric orientation and being tested for that in one of those \u201cI don\u2019t fucking know what I did or why I\u2019m here\u201d times as a kid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I aced all of that stuff and tested 12th grade everything since elementary school yet was a straight F student. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whenever I was asked what my home room was, I\u2019d answer \u201c132.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIsn\u2019t that.. the .. in school suspension room?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n At some point I had to stop reading. Maybe that\u2019s why HIV-eMind and Twatter summarily toss everyone out to the curb for saying anything other than what the \u201chive\u201d is \u201cpermitted.\u201d One person is an anecdote, two people are an anamoly, there or four or five or 32,000,000 of us is a conspiracy<\/strong>, alright?<\/p>\n\n\n\n PTSD engaged, a roller coaster of nightmares all night, but all things in reverse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I come home to an emptied\/cleared out hotel room, all my stuff gone, I can\u2019t reach anyone at the front desk , or security or housekeeping to ask \u201cwhat the fuck-\u201d and where am I, and what is my check out date and .. oh no, not this again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I find a little white note taped to the cabinets with a note saying your stuffs fine, call this number \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you really want some head candy, watch the video for the deep dish remix of Stevie Nicks \u2013 Dreams. That isn\u2019t a dream, that is a mother fucking nightmare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Flashbacks of Chicago back in the day\u2026 you know all this silliness about \u201cmonkeypox\u201d and \u201c18 person orgies\u201d making national news? sigh, 18 people isn\u2019t an orgy, that\u2019s barely a cookout<\/strong>. But I remember being a polite young man who wasn\u2019t really comfortable with wherever I ended up one night and I did not particularly care to take my pants off and join the monkeypox pile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I just realized that this apartment was in the same building where Wayne lived and passed away. His was the .. left hand orientation and this other place I met Anthony was the reverse right hand orientation and that really jogged something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This other guy, Anthony was much the same and we looked at each other uncomfortably in silence and he said \u201cfuck these guys, come home with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n *Klaus voice* I vill not live in the pod, I vill not smoke the bad batch of bathtub crank, I vill not take off my pants. I vill not chase the bugs. You and I vill be so happy together, I vill enjoy your meat and make Baby Bill Gates clyyy, mwa ha ha.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ah to be 21 again. I wish I\u2019d stayed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I was developing a littttttttttttttle bit of a \u2013 okay, a reallllllly big \u201cproblem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dr Werntz was fond of grumbling, \u201cdon\u2019t tell me about your clean time. I already know you\u2019re sober because you show up for appointments. when I lose my patients to that shit, they stop coming, they stop calling. They have better things to do! Now I don\u2019t know what the hell those things ARE. I don\u2019t think they do, either!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Based old crank.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n So last night I dreamt about us again and started giggling at the absurdity of being banned from mainstream social media, and not being really warmly received on Gab when I whine \u201cI don\u2019t want to make white babies I like gay interracial sex!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n You spend awhile in the most absolutely degenerate fucking dregs of 4chan or you tough it out on Gab anyway,<\/em> and maybe you\u2019re back on mainstream social media again but now you\u2019ve picked up some new eloquence like \u201chappy merchant\u201d and \u201cconsoooom\u201d, stuff that pisses them off even more than what you were exiled for. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s like this never ending cycle where you just come back , foaming at the mouth and hating these fucking companies and everyone behind this shit ten thousand times more militant and defeated than the year before.. with a MORE \u201cOFFENSIVE\u201d vocabulary , god help us all, is that even \u2026 at what point do they split so many hairs , and at what point do we invent creative and heretofore unprecedented forms of cursing or making Jannies cry , that the whole fucking simulation melts down\u2026 ? \/dry sarcasm<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not deflecting responsibility here but, *waves hand at society*<\/em> YOU did that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not even allowed into the fucking sandbox to help fuck your shit up.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Although I suppose that I would like to<\/strong>, if I were allowed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ll spare hours of torment and details but I capped the dream off with having one of my tattoos lasered off \/ removed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The guy would only do one at a time , one appointment at a time, and I was really bummed. \u201cI want all of them off of me, now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then I realized that my \u201ctattoo\u201d was on the wrong arm as I looked down at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s on my right side. In my dream , it was on my left side and he removed that<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I went , \u201coh shit, I\u2019m in the other hemisphere of my mind!!!!!!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Immediately woke up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 3AM. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Nope nope nope, joder eso, I ain\u2019t going back to sleep tonight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So sharks have bifurcated brains , right? they don\u2019t sleep. they just operate on one half for awhile and then zap out over to the other half while they let other side \u201dsleep\u201d or go dormant or whatever. much like doctor foley\u2019s old roommate, that dude could go for like 25-30 days \u2026 you just stay awake forever that way\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the posts that just somehow \u201cvanished\u201d from Blogger, was a few years ago and it involved me living out in some corn field in the middle of nowhere. \u201cThey\u201d had some kind of \u201cradar\u201d dish, but not exactly, and they were scanning through the corn searching for someone or something and were all terrified. 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