“Hello. Thank you for calling Microsoft’s Immune System as a Service sales and support escalation line. My name is Sanjay. May i have the serial number off of your Mark of the Beast?”
“Yes, hello, it’s WO666666666666.”
“Thank you, Mister Pickles. How is your day? Did you enjoy the blueberry yogurt bugs you had for breakfast?”
“Well, I suppose it could be better Sanjay. I think I’m dying. I’ve had worse days though.”
“I see. And have you tried restarting your G2 cell cycle stage yet?”
“YES. YES. YES GOD DAMN IT. LIKE THREE TIMES. AND NOTHING HAPPENED. THATS WHY I AM CALLING YOU. I WORKED IN TECHNICAL SUPPORT FOR CRIKES SAKE. THIS IS A BUG.”
“Hm okay I am going to send a refresh signal to you in case this is an error with your monthly subscription, please make sure you are within 500 meters of your wifi or a 5G tower-“
“I just did that an hour ago with Roshini. Come on! I know you said I was going to eat the bugs and that I would be happy but I thought we were talking about insects, not software bugs!”
Welcome to Hell.