13 years of AA/NA (et al) didn’t do anything whatsoever to get or keep me sober.
This “scrawny diseased pervert” with a “short time to live” has 28 months clean.
(I outlived the motherfucker who said that to me.)
Now I want to outlive Stan because he thought that was so goddamned funny. But I donโt know. Being left soaking in his own piss in a hospice and dependent on a gay black nurse with aids to wipe his ass would be kind of poetic too.
It’s been 15 months since I closed the “na chatroom” and I (mostly) forgot those people ever even existed.
I’m sorry if I have sounded like a broken record.
They drove me over the edge and that is what they clearly intended to do.
I had a good experience with the community in Los Angeles and wish them well.
But whenever I see one of those signs where I live now – or whenever one of those people attempts to contact me – I die a little inside.
Quitting the program was the best thing I ever did.
Fuck this idea that I would have anything to do with sending them fresh meat that’s too messed up or naive to see them for exactly what they are.